www.tomskillman.ca

In no particular order… why is it that the things that suck look suspiciously like the things that don’t?

For example… responsibility. Sometimes, doesn’t responsibility just suck the life out of you? I tell my kid to “be more active”, “get off the computer”, “life isn’t in a machine’… yet I spend more time on the computer than maybe anyone I know… outside of the internet of course!

I am so fucking listless today it’s almost funny, if not for the fact that my 36th birthday is tomorrow. I like to call it “the day my family forgets to call”.

It’s my own damn fault, I’m not exactly Mr. Punctual with the gift giving, unless it’s on Face Crack, then I’m all about the Naughty Gifts. Although, to maintain my pessimistic perspective today, I’ll emphatically state Face Crack “crapplications” suck too!

*crapplications is a registered trademark of Smalltown productions….
Don’t get me wrong, I’m not in a shitty mood… I’m LISTLESS. I don’t want to do what I’m supposed to do today. In my typical fashion, I have justified bitching about the listlessness as an acceptable alternative to actually performing my responsibilities.

I’d have to say the biggest problem with responsibility is that it’s so fucking boring. The biggest problem with turning 36 tomorrow is that I have to go to work. I hear the Beastie Boys in my head when I type that….”it’s time to wake up and go to work! I ride on the bus to the city every day… I sit on my seat and I dream myself away…”

I suppose I could contrast this with stating that I genuinely love my job; but that’d be a far cry from the theme of this post, now wouldn’t it?

Yeah. Shifting gears back to things that suck: I haven’t played a significant gig in ages. Not that the gigs I’ve done didn’t have elements of fun, but they sure seemed too much like work. FUCK THAT. I could care less if the room is packed (although that’s certainly better) but I hate playing like it’s a job, and the music has no purpose or meaning… yeah, THAT SUCKS. I’m happy that I only have one more gig this month, cause I need to refresh.
You know what else sucks? Blogs that complain about typical every day things…. whoops.

I think I can sum my entire perspective today up in a fact my Mother ( a physician) recently told me. Apparently, “they” have discovered that children who are exposed to multi-media before the age of two have their brains physically wired for rapid, sudden shift in focus. Doctor’s are starting to recommend that children do not watch T.V. or have much media exposure before the age of 2. Once the brain grows it’s neural net it’s pretty much too late to re-program that human… it becomes a matter of learning strategies for dealing with it.

Well holy fuck. It’s all starting to make sense! The “thing that sucks” is my own little head… wired to be random at a moment’s notice. I can blame Richie Cunningham and The Beave… those fuckers.

I sure hope tomorrow I can party like it’s 2007.

Just to keep proving my (lack of a) point, how about this one: The first spammer to post “you know what else sucks? Hoovers” gets to have their post actually posted and not deleted. Yeah, that’s right, spammers suck.

I’ve been tempted to post some of their “clever” attempts at fooling me into thinking they are genuinely interested in my bullshit, but I’m afraid the other thousands of readers would misinterpret the humour as a “sucka” moment. my favourite is when they post:

“Jenny’s Blog:” (click it and it’s ALWAYS a shitty porn site).

“Great post, keep up the good work”.

Or:

“I really agree!”

Oh yeah, you agree with me? Do you even know what the fuck I’m talking about when I say something like ” another day, another lack of interest in the grand scheme of things”?

Oh well. One person asked “what would it cost to put a banner ad on your site?”

They must know something about my rarely updated site that I don’t… but here’s the answer: A LOT.

Take it easy people, while responsibility, shitty gigs, too much T.V. and spammers all suck, the weather doesn’t… and tomorrow my family won’t call and I’ll be that much closer to 40.

P.S. I heard a rumour Gert is starting to get it’s shit together… shhhh.